


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by Starkidiot



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Neil Josten, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neil Josten is a Mess, Neil Josten loves Andrew Minyard, Nightmares, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, nora sakavic no longer exists, they get get married and say i love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24444058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkidiot/pseuds/Starkidiot
Summary: Neil runs, Andrew wants him to come home.Thanks Ominous for helping edit!!!https://twitter.com/teamstarkidiothttps://www.tumblr.com/blog/doomsdaydepressed
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 18
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes in formatting, this is my first time writing something that isn't poetry.
> 
> Also I have finished writing the whole fic but I'm going to upload twice a week since it's short and I for one, love anticipation.  
> /////  
> watch me post a chapter a day because I have no self control

Andrew didn’t  _ want _ things.  _ Want _ was a useless emotion that he had left behind long ago, in a three bedroom house belonging to Cass Spear.

Although his memory was perfect —though for him, it was more of a curse— he couldn’t recall the exact moment he had stopped. If it had been instantaneous, locked in his own room with Drake Spear forcing him down, or if it had happened gradually, a long awaited fate brought on by years of abuse and neglect.

Andrew was finished with things like yearning, hoping, wanting.

That’s what he told himself at least, but hope was a fickle thing that refused to be abandoned.

It was getting harder each day to remind himself that he wanted nothing, that he didn’t hope for anything. No matter how many times he repeated himself to Neil, he couldn’t shake the feeling that was blossoming from within.

It was as though somebody had slipped under his skin, replacing his disinterest and anger with something softer, something far more dangerous.

His emotions were a forest fire, and Neil was the spark igniting them.

He refused to lose Neil. Not again. Not when he had fought tooth and nail to keep him at his side. Neil had run again, but Andrew would be damned if he didn’t do everything he could to get him back.

The ache in Andrew's chest was a familiar one, but he hadn’t expected it from Neil.

He tried to remind himself that it wasn’t his fault, that Neil was his own person and his leaving was something entirely out of Andrew’s control. The nagging feeling in his gut, however, said otherwise. Perhaps his social worker had been right.

_ You drive away everybody that loves you. You will end up alone and it will be your fault. _

But no- Andrew had been working on this with Betsy and knew better than to place the blame on himself, even when it felt natural.

_ You can’t control other people's actions.You are not responsible for the way others behave. _

Andrew glanced at the clock and glared at it. 3:36 PM. Neil had been gone for almost 9 hours now. Andrew wished he had stayed with Neil that morning, that he had distracted Neil after he woke up thrashing, fighting against some enemy from his nightmare.

He had grown too used to Neil’s presence. Leaning on him without realizing it.

Now Neil was gone, and Andrew was falling, falling further than he had ever thought possible.

It shouldn’t feel like betrayal, Neil never promised to stay, but it did.

The problem with leaning on somebody, is the inevitable moment in which you look over, and find the person you need most gone. The moment when you have to find any bit of strength to keep your balance, or let gravity pull you down.

Andrew was nearly out of strength.

The sound of footsteps outside the dorm startled him from his reverie.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and pushed down his emotions before the door opened, revealing a distraught Nicky, followed by an angry looking Matt and Dan.

Andrew flicked them a cool look, but it seemed to only anger Matt further. 

He stood up from his spot on the couch and folded his arms over his chest, appearing

passive as ever, when Matt finally broke the tension.

“How the fuck can you just sit there, when Neil is missing?” His hands shook with anger, and Dan reached out to take his hand in hers.

Andrew levelled his gaze onto the wall just past Matt.

“He’s his own person. If he wants to disappear from our lives, then that’s his own damn choice.” Andrew willed his hands to remain steady as they dropped to his sides.

Dan scowled at Andrew.

“If you cared for him in the slightest, you would be out there searching with us.”

“If you cared about Neil, you would understand that he’s a fucking adult who is in charge of his own actions.” Andrew bit back, shifting his gaze towards Dan and then to the open door where Renee and Allison had joined the party.

“You really are a fucking monster.” Dan spit out, before turning on her heel and leaving with Matt in tow. Nicky shot Andrew an apologetic look, and followed them back out of the dorm.

Allison looked between Andrew and her girlfriend, whispering a question into Renee’s hair. Renee nodded and walked towards the couch. Allison stared at Andrew for a second and finally turned around and left, closing the door behind her. Andrew sat on the opposite end of the couch and glared at the wall ahead of him.

“I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, but I want you to know that I’m praying for Neil.” Renee tugged gently at the cross dangling from her necklace. Andrew scoffed in response, but turned his head so he was facing her. She kept her focus on the cross, understanding Andrew’s need for space, knowing eye-contact would be too much for him at the moment.

Renee continued, “I also know that you are worried about him. I promised not to lie to you, so I won’t say that everything will turn out okay, but I can tell you that it isn’t your fault. You aren’t a monster Andrew. You care about Neil and even though the others might not understand it, that doesn’t make it any less real.”

Renee reached out an open palm in silent question. Andrew hesitated for a moment before nodding and allowing her to take his hand in hers. She squeezed tightly, reminding Andrew that he wasn’t alone, that she was there for him. Andrew squeezed back.

“You can go and search for Neil. I know you want to, and I will stay right here in case he comes back.”

Andrew scoffed, “I don’t  _ want  _ anything.”

“Of course not,” Renee replied, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Andrew let go of Renee’s hand, knowing he was proving her point about wanting, but he didn’t care. He left the dorm without a goodbye and walked down the stairs and out into the parking lot, where he shook out a cigarette and brought it to his lips. He lit it and nearly dropped it on his first inhale, the taste of nicotine reminding him of Neil. He tossed it to the pavement and ground it out under his boot.

Andrew slid into his car and glanced at the empty seat beside him. Neil’s jacket lay

bundled as a makeshift pillow for their late night drives. Andrew resisted the urge to pull it on and risk replacing Neil’s smell with his own. Instead, he pulled it up to his chest and squeezed it tightly, inhaling the familiar scent of sage and nicotine. He sighed and threw the jacket into the backseat and pulled out his phone, knowing it would be useless to call but needing to try.

He dialed Neil’s phone number and it rang once.

“We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.”

Andrew snapped his phone shut and nearly threw it onto the asphalt before forcing himself to put it back in his pocket. If Neil called, he needed to have his phone on him.

_ Just in case. _

He slammed his door shut and started the car, gripping the steering wheel to steady himself and pictured Neil back at the dorm, safe and sound.

_ He could be out of the country by now. _

Andrew’s heart contracted. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs, scream for Neil to come back. Anything to get rid of the ache of loss and fear.

Andrew could deny it all he wanted, but he could no longer ignore what he felt. He couldn’t hide from himself.

Andrew loved Neil. More than he had ever thought possible for somebody as damaged as himself. He loved Neil, and he  _ wanted _ . Neil had turned hope, once a twisted ugly lie, into a tangible truth. Had brought Andrew closer to happiness than he’d ever been.

The knowledge that he may never get Neil back threatened to tear him apart. 

Andrew stepped on the gas and tore through the empty parking lot, unable to smother the tiny spark of hope that had lit within his chest, repeating one word over and over.

_ Neil. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some insight as to why neil is running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have zero self control and im changing update frequency to daily because uhhh i just really want these boys to stop hurting

_ Neil struggled against the men restraining him from behind, and wished he could see where he was being led.  _ _ He could hear a muffled voice coming from the left of him, and felt himself being ushered towards it. A door creaked open and Neil caught the tail end of the conversation going on inside the room. _

_ “Nothing against you of course, he simply needs to be taught a lesson.” _

_ Somebody behind Neil cleared his throat. _

_ “Ah Nathaniel, so nice of you to finally join us.”  _

_ The blindfold loosened from Neil's eyes and fell silently to the floor. _

_ He stood in an office with black walls and a well polished wooden floor.  _

_ Before him lay Andrew, shirtless and strapped to a table with an array of knives and tools on a tray next to him. Ichirou Moriyama stood beside him with a pleasant smile. _

_ Neil jerked out of a guard’s grip and started towards him, his mind blank save for the fury that was building up in his chest. Ichirou moved swiftly to block him and snapped for a guard to restrain him once again. _

_ “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Ichirou spoke, deceptively calm. _

_ “Let him go,” ground out Neil. “He didn’t do anything.” _

_ Neil looked away from Andrew, overwhelmed from the spike of pain lancing through his heart. _

_ “I suggest you remain quiet unless i give you permission to speak. He is here because you performed poorly in your last game. You may be useful to me yet, but I cannot allow your mistakes to go unpunished.” Ichirou paused, picking up a blade and dragged it across Andrew’s abdomen. _

_ “We considered taking your,” Ichirou looked back up at Neil mid-pause, “Monster, I believe he’s called,” Neil tensed in anger, his mind reeling. _

_ “However, I doubt you would be inclined to carry your end of our contract if we did that, correct?” _

_ Neil looked between Andrew and Ichirou before it clicked. It wasn’t Andrew on the table, but Aaron. He blinked up, confused. _

_ “Why him? We aren’t close” Neil met Ichirou’s gaze.  _

_ Ichirou smiled gently at Neil. _

_ “But he matters to your Monster, does he not? How will he feel once he discovers you not only led him to Drake last year, but you have also caused the death of his brother?” _

_ Neils gaze wavered. Ichirou was right about it all. He couldn’t bear the thought of hurting Andrew more than he already had. _

_ “Let him go. He wasn’t a part of this. I promise to do better my lord.” _

_ Ichirou’s grin was sharp and dangerous. “I’m sure you will.” _

_ He handed Neil a blade and ushered him to Aaron, who stared back up at him with anger in his eyes.  _

_ “I’m assume you are well acquainted with a blade such as this, with Lola for a master.” _

_ Ichirou turned away from Neil and started towards the door. _

_ “I have a meeting I must attend to, I expect you shouldn’t face much difficulty with your punishment. Kill him, but make it last. If you try anything, I have my men trailing after your Monster right now. One word and they are dead.” _

_ The door closed shut behind Neil. One of the guards shifted in place and spoke up. _

_ “You have thirty minutes to make him suffer before killing him. No less.” _

_ Neil stared down at Aaron. He ran the blade up his torso and stopped just before his throat, ignoring the screams of pain coming from his teammate.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” Neil choked out.  _

_ Aaron squirmed and shook. His face began to take on another shape, morphing into Andrews. _

_ A look of betrayal flickered in his eyes.  _

_ “Your fault,” Andrew muttered hoarsely. “You caused this.” _

Neil shot up from beside Andrew and looked down, almost expecting blood to be staining his hands. He glanced at Andrew’s sleeping figure but was unable to calm the pain in his chest. He looked away, the harsh words from his nightmare repeating themselves.

_ Your fault. You caused this. _

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and felt two fingers at his wrist, tapping along with his pulse. He turned and faced Andrew, who was staring up at him, eyes scanning his face in an attempt to decipher whatever Neil had been thinking.

“Nightmare,” whispered Andrew knowingly, his voice raspy from sleep.

Neil nodded and stood up, knowing he couldn’t stay here anymore. 

The possibility of hurting any of the Foxes was too much. It was time for him to leave.

He shook his head at Andrew when he made as if to get up.

“I’m going out,” Neil whispered, his chest aching with the unspoken truth.

“Junkie.” Andrew scoffed, already turning over to go back to sleep.

Neil changed his clothes and quietly grabbed his duffel, turning to face Andrew one last time.

Neil  _ didn’t  _ want to run. Not really. He had Andrew, had a family now.

He wanted to stay, but leaving was the best thing he could do for the Foxes, for Andrew.

It was the only way to keep them safe from Ichirou and people like his father.

Neil loved the Foxes so much it hurt him to think about.

But staying had never truly been an option, and he despised the way he had convinced every one that it was. 

Neil refused to hurt the foxes any more than he already had. So he did the one thing he knew.

He ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i hate hurting neil but i gotta provide context y'know. also this is me not sticking to my word and posting at midnight <33


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrying on from the last chapter, sticking with Neil for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright fellas, daily updates it is (skipping over tomorrow though) Andrew has had enough pain to last a lifetime so i had to stop (ignore) his suffering by focusing on neil instead

“You sure you want to cancel?”

Neil took his phone from his pocket and handed it to the clerk at the electronics store

She looked at him and repeated herself for what must have been the third time in the last 20 minutes he had been there.

Neil nodded and paid off the rest of the fee and walked away from the shop, feeling heavy with guilt.

_ It’s for the best _ . He told himself, and he carried on his way.

Part of Neil was glad that Andrew had known better than to make him promise he’d stay.

At least he wouldn’t be remembered as a liar.

At least he would go on knowing that for a period in his short life, he got to live as himself, live as someone more than just a lie. That was more than he could have ever hoped for, more than he deserved.

But that knowledge didn’t do anything to soothe his guilt.

Neil stopped at a small diner on the outskirts of a small town and ordered a large black coffee and a sandwich. While he waited for his order, he took out a map covered with x’s and looked for somewhere to go. It had been too long since he had moved last, and he had forgotten what it was like to simply pack up and go. He had no idea where to go, what to do.

Now that he had experienced what it was like to have a home, to have a life, he couldn’t just go back to the way he had been before. Barely living, always moving. But he couldn’t stay either, so he finished up his meal and asked his waitress for directions to the airport.

He would have to figure out a place on the way.

It was 5:28 pm by the time Neil arrived at the airport. His legs and feet ached from walking all day and he was glad to finally sit down.

Neil had chosen to go to Colorado Springs, which he hoped would be secluded enough for him to get by without any trouble from the Moriyamas.

He bought his ticket and waited at the TSA check and was stopped by security after passing through. His heart skipped a beat. Of course Ichirou had been tailing him, there was no escaping, he was going to die-

“Sir please step back out and make sure you have removed all jewelry and metal objects from your person.”

Neils heart slowed down from his initial panic. He checked his pockets and found nothing. He stood for a confused moment before reaching to his chest in realization.

Andrews' key,  _ Neil’s  _ key, was dangling from a silver chain.

It had been given to him just over two years ago on the night Seth was killed.

The night Neil realized he had a home.

A lot had happened since then. Most of his teammates had graduated, and he clenched his hand over the key when he remembered the Foxes were supposed to be visiting him that day. 

He hoped he hadn’t hurt them too much with his abrupt disappearance.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to hurry up. There is a long line behind you and you do not want to be responsible for missed flights.”

Neil looked down at the key in his palm and squeezed it hard enough to leave an imprint on his hand. 

At the last second he turned around and grabbed his duffel, running the opposite direction of the line and outside. 

He needed to call Andrew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was such a short chapter, I originally meant for it to be a part of chapter 2 but I felt it deserved its own chapter y'know?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Andrew introspection, some ridiculous Neil and just overall a good time by the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen,, i know i may have said i cant bring myself to hurt Andrew but this is the last time i swear. it doesnt last long though i swear

Andrew had been driving for 3 hours, and the spark of hope that he had been carrying with him had dimmed considerably. He pulled over on the side of the road and dug his nails into the steering wheel.

He hadn’t been able to cry in years, hadn’t wanted to either, but with the weight of Neil’s disappearance he found himself wishing he could.

He was tired and stressed and the overwhelming sense of loss was threatening to overtake him.

He needed a cigarette.

He got back on the road and turned up the radio. He wouldn’t stop searching until his body gave up on him. He would drive out of the country to find him if necessary.

His phone buzzed in his lap.

Andrew veered over to the side of the road again and picked up his phone immediately.

“Neil.” It wasn’t a question.

“Andrew. Fuck. I shouldn’t have-”

“Stop.” For once Andrew didn’t make an effort to hide the emotion in his voice.

“Come home, Neil,” his voice came out softer than he’d intended. “Just come home.”

“I- yeah. Okay. Pick me up?”

“Where are you?”

“Airport.”

“Which airport, you idiot?”

“I’ll text you the address.”

Andrew hung up the phone with a weary sigh and scrubbed a hand over his eyes.

He pulled his hand back quickly as he realized his face was wet. He wiped away his tears and pushed away his discomfort. There was a difference between wishing he could cry and actually wanting to.

He checked the message blinking on his phone and pulled off the side of the road. It would take an hour and a half to get there.

Andrew sped at least 15 miles over the speed limit the whole way there.

Andrew pulled up behind a disgustingly bright pink Uber and parked the car, ignoring the annoyed honks coming from behind him.

He looked across the sea of faces and stopped at the familiar blue eyes that met his.

Neil jogged over with a nervous smile, unsure of how he would be received.

“Yes or no?” Andrew whispered once Neil was close enough to hear him.

Neil nodded, relieved. If he noticed Andrew’s red eyes, he didn’t say anything, just allowed himself to be pulled into a rib crushing embrace. 

Neil smiled into Andrew's hair and didn’t stop smiling when Andrew pulled away to get back in the car.

Neil threw his duffel into the trunk and slid into the passenger seat beside Andrew, shutting the car door quietly.

“Thank you. For not giving up on me,” Neil whispered into the silence.

Neil looked into Andrews eyes and awaited a percentage. It didn’t come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in your face @ those of you who said they doubted i could make a happy ending  
> also only 1 chapter left!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow look a happy ending and a time skip because I can't help myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaha they are in love. It's fairly short but I think it turned out well!!

Andrew held Neils gaze much longer than necessary.

Andrew loved Neil. Every scrape and scar. His soft hair and his easy smile.

Every inch of Neil made him feel as though his heart was going to explode.

He wouldn’t say it. Not yet at least. But someday, he promised himself that he would.

He only hoped it was as obvious to Neil as it was to Aaron and Bee.

He  _ wanted  _ to tell Neil. To say it over and over again and to see Neil smile at him.

But now was not the time. Not when the words “I miss you” could be used to the same effect.

So instead of saying the three words that had been repeating themselves for the past two years

-how had he not noticed before- he reached out a hand towards Neil.

Neil met him halfway.

  
  
  


Neil jolted awake, having dreamt of his father searching for him, finding him.

But he was okay. His father had been dead for 6 years now and his need to run had gotten easier to manage with time.

Some days, like today, the need was more intense, but Neil allowed himself to simply lay in bed and find comfort in Andrew’s sleeping figure. 

Neils smiled, enjoying the feeling of Andrew’s hand interlaced with his. 

Andrew hadn’t said it, might never say it, but Neil knew that Andrew loved him.

His proposal from the night before was proof enough.

“Staring,” whispered Andrew.

“So are you.” Neil grinned.

Andrew threw a pillow at him, the corners of his mouth turned up in amusement in a way that made Neil want to kiss him. So he did.

Andrew sighed contentedly.

“I love you, idiot,” Andrew said, playfully shoving Neil away.

Neil fell off the bed in surprise.

“I love you too,” Neil smiled.

Andrew stood up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, Neil’s shirt hanging loose around his shoulders.

“Come help me make pancakes.”

Neil stood up and followed him to the kitchen.

Neil didn’t want to run. So he didn’t. He remained by Andrews' side and Andrew remained by his. Together they were safe. They were happy. They were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY ARE IN LOVE  
> anyways thank you all for reading my first fic!! I really hoped you guys enjoyed it because i had fun writing it (especially after like,,, 2 whole years of writers block)   
> maybe in the future i will revisit this and write a wedding/post wedding fic (because i cant just,,, leave these boys alone)  
> anyways, thanks for reading and commenting!!


End file.
